why i keep writing

i've written posts before on how i got started writing, why i love to write, and the frustrations of writing (i was going to find links for these, but it's taking too long and i just want to get on with this...i'll find them later.)

suffice it to say, there have been many times (as my husband and CP can tell you) that i've wanted to completely give up and never write another word for as long as i live because i start to think i'm a fraud, a fake, a wanna-be in the writing world. "who am i to think i could ever write anything that anyone would ever want to read?"

and then i read a post like Kristie's on how she realized she was supposed to write her Soul Saver Series and then i remember things that have encouraged me when i was ready to quit.

each of these things still make me cry when i think about them...

~~back in Nov. 2007, when i'd first put out Eldala, i received an unsolicited "less-than-stellar" review in person, and i just sat there and took it even though i didn't want it and i was ready to walk away from writing...

the very next day, one of my dearest friends called me to say that God used the scene with the cardinal to remind her of his love. she also said the scene with the butterflies touched her, and that she'd written down quotes from my book so she could remember them later.

~~ one of my homeschooling friends in Canada told me that her teenage son, who had never finished a book, saw the cover and snuck the book out of her room so he could read it. she also said that she was driving somewhere with him, glanced at him in the backseat, asked what he was doing, and he said he was reading Eldala. and then he ended up finishing the book. wow. it's now his favorite.

~~ a couple of years later, this same young man (who is eagerly awaiting my sequel) asked me to send a signed copy to one of his friends in the states for her birthday. i was surprised and pleased when i received a card from her in the mail, just when i needed a reason to go on.

among other things, she said, "When Jessara accepted her responsibility as Malazia and eventually became queen, I found a new courage and understood that 'the only one that underestimates my importance is me.' Thank you for sharing Teleria with me. Thank you for the courage." i bring this card out when i feel discouraged.

~~ as if those reasons weren't enough to keep going, there's always the fact that my kids love my stories. my eldest son in particular loves to write with me. it's been a joy to work on Black Heart with him this time around. how many moms get to write a novel with their teenage son? i am so blessed.

i hope that when you start to think you don't have it in you to write, or when you've received yet another rejection from an agent or editor, or a bad review of your book gets posted, that someone or something will come along to encourage you to keep at it, no matter what, because you have a story to tell and it's a very important one. if nothing else, i hope this post can be one of those things to help you keep going.