trying to talk myself into nanowrimo 2005

i wrote this Oct. 8, 2005. i will not be participating this year.

how does one prepare for nanowrimo? probably by writing. i'll go over what i copied from Bird by Bird (Anne Lamott) and my notes from Poem Crazy and Writing Down the Bones. do some descriptive writing and practise. just make messes on paper. that's all this is. this will be a big, wonderful, disorderly mess on paper.

every big job looks like a mess before it's finished - every scrapbook, altered book, paper bag book (i used to do those, btw), housecleaning project. it's bringing order out of all the pieces. first you have to have the pieces before you can rearrange them.

the story may be nothing, but it will be mine - my first big story. that will be the achievement. getting it done in a short amount of time. what is it Chris Baty (nanowrimo originator) says? something about the speed with which you write this prevents you from worrying about how good it is and makes you just write it - even if it's awful - as long as it doesn't make someone throw up.

so i need to **really** lower my expectations and just do it - make a huge mess on paper. go for it. just do it. make lots of mistakes and typos and grammatical errors and punctuation errors. my internal editor needs to go for a hike, edit something else - like the newspaper!

i want this to be fun - as much as forcing yourself to write every day can be fun. it will be an exercise in willpower and determination. it will be living by a deadline. it will be hard but i can do it! and maybe i'll end up with something slightly better than crappy!