woe is me

i was looking up resources for teen writers when i came across this quiz for fantasy writers.

The Fantasy Novelist's Exam By David J. Parker
Additional Material By Samuel Stoddard

Ever since J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis created the worlds of Middle Earth and Narnia, it seems like every windbag off the street thinks he can write great, original fantasy, too. The problem is that most of this "great, original fantasy" is actually poor, derivative fantasy. Frankly, we're sick of it, so we've compiled a list of rip-off tip-offs in the form of an exam. We think anybody considering writing a fantasy novel should be required to take this exam first. Answering "yes" to any one question results in failure and means that the prospective novel should be abandoned at once.

(for the entire - and very long-winded) exam, go here: Fantasy Novelist's Exam)

1. Does nothing happen in the first fifty pages? (i'm fine there)
2. Is your main character a young farmhand with mysterious parentage? (no, he's a blacksmith)
3. Is your main character the heir to the throne but doesn't know it? (darn, they got me)
4. Is your story about a young character who comes of age, gains great power, and defeats the supreme badguy? (yes)
5. Is your story about a quest for a magical artifact that will save the world? (no)
6. How about one that will destroy it? (no)
7. Does your story revolve around an ancient prophecy about "The One" who will save the world and everybody and all the forces of good? (guilty, guilty, guilty)

so after answering just these 7 questions, i thought, "great, i'm guilty." but then i remembered that almost everyone who's read Eldala really likes it. that made me feel a whole lot better. (this just proves that i should never read sites about how to write fantasy. they just make me feel bad.)

now, if you want a funnier version of this, there's a site on how to create a best-selling fantasy novel. this list always makes me laugh so hard that i cry.