thank you, Ratatouille

wondering what to blog about today, i decided to go through my quotes. i'd forgotten that a couple of them were from the movie Ratatouille (one of my favorites).

"Great cooking is not for the faint of heart – you must be imaginative, strong-hearted. You must try things that may not work. You must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul. It is true that anyone can cook – only the fearless can be great."

the part that i highlighted reminded me of something that happened yesterday. i woke up, panicked at the thought of speaking at my local ACFW writer's meeting in March. the president of the group asked me to speak about my writing journey. i said yes, but yesterday the enemy came at me and said, "you have nothing to say." he tells me that a lot, and it's easy to believe.

that thought stayed with me all morning. later, when i noticed that i was grumpy over every little thing that was happening, i looked back and realized that the enemy's lie was poking at me like a thorn in my shoe. no wonder i was grumpy.

i shared my struggle with my almost 15 year old son. i said that i was afraid to get up in front of the writing group because i didn't want to look stupid. he said that i might look at it as feeling stupid, but someone else might call it courage. my son is wise beyond his years.

then i read the above quote: "You must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from."

i was afraid of looking stupid because my reasons for publishing are not what i would call "normal." i self-published. i have no desire to seek publication with a mainstream publisher. i don't think it's the road God has for me, at least not for now (look, i did it again. i qualified that statement so that no one would think less of me. ARG!)

i was letting my fears of what people would think of me define what kind of writer i am and how i would be received. i don't want that to happen. God has provided the opportunity for me to say some things about self-publishing that this group may not have heard. i get the privilege of imparting some knowledge. and i get to share a really cool story of how God set me on the path to write (which i will share here in the future).

it's time to be fearless.