January 30, 2010

Fight Scene Blogfest - Eldala

and now, my entry for the Fight Scene blog fest at Crimson Ink...

This is a scene from my fantasy novel, Eldala. my husband wrote most of the fight scenes, but this is one i actually wrote myself. there are probably about a thousand things i would change now, but it is what it is....

When they arrived, flames engulfed several of the buildings, and others had already burned to the ground. Kieran stifled a cry at the destruction.

“Why are they doing this?” he asked Braeden.

“Hatred for Telerians,” Braeden said. “The Ancala are the most violent of the clans. That must be why they harbor the gangs.”

“Can they be stopped?”

“They will only bend their knee to the true king of Teleria.”

“And how will I prove that?”

“It will depend on how you wield the sword. Only a descendant of Alardin will be able to defeat one of them in a sword match.”

How many times do I have to prove myself? Kieran wondered.

The farmers and their wives had entered the fray, pitchforks and hay rakes flying at the attackers. Kieran and his companions stepped in to help. He hoped he wouldn’t have to kill any of the Ancala; it wouldn’t be the best way to introduce himself to this clan.

Just as he was about to strike one down, all of the Ancala stopped to look at him. One of them stepped forward. In the light of the dying flames, Kieran saw he was taller than the rest, almost as tall as himself. The man threw back his cloak, and his sword glinted in the light of the fire.

“Why do you carry that sword, Telerian?” he asked.

“Because it belongs to me.”

“I am Avareth,” said the warrior. “I challenge you to prove your worth to carry the sword of Alardin.”

Kieran exhaled his annoyance and handed his cloak to Toren.

“Strike first and strike hard,” Toren whispered. “His arrogance will be his weakness.”

Avareth stood ready with his sword. As Kieran approached, Avareth drew his dagger. Kieran responded by drawing his own dagger, and the crashing of steel on steel began. Avareth slashed at Kieran’s head, but Kieran spun to avoid the blade. Kieran thrust at Avareth’s middle and missed. After a few minutes of thrusting and missing each other, both men were breathing hard. Avareth spun around, and the clanking of numerous blocks carried over the sound of the burning buildings.

Kieran was starting to think he might have met his match. He answered his thoughts by redoubling his efforts.

Backing Avareth into a wall, Kieran lunged, but Avareth put up his sword and dagger to block, pushing Kieran away with his foot. Kieran started to fall backwards, and before he knew it, Avareth had him up against a wall. Kieran looked down and saw that their hilts had locked. He gave Avareth a crooked smile and hit him in the jaw, jumping on top of him before he could get up. Kieran finished the fight with another hit to the jaw.

Before Avareth could recover, more Ancala surrounded the two men, and for a nerve-wracking moment, Kieran wondered if they would yield or kill him.


Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Aw, brilliant. Certainly gets the blood flowing. Love the notion of a special sword. Very vivid and well done! And I was right...I can definitely learn a lot from you ;)

Anonymous said...

Shades of Arthur and Excalibur! Great job, Michelle!! :)

Michelle Gregory said...

CVM, thanks. i think we could learn from each other.

MW, i never thought about it that way. thank you.

C R Ward said...

Great fight scene! The fact that he's tired of proving himself and is reluctant to fight makes it all the better when he does.

I love the name Kieran too. :-)

Michelle Gregory said...

CR, i love that name too.

Isobael Liu said...

Very nice! I'm partial to swords myself. *Grin*

Christine H said...

Michelle, are you aware that every comment from your blog is posted as an update on Facebook? Wierd.

elizabeth mueller said...

Hi Michelle!

Found your writing blog! I love your writing style! You are great with words as well as dialogue!

I looked for a spot so I could follow your blog. :(
I am sad, because I couldn't. But I am a fan of story!

Thankyou for sharing! :)