June 13, 2009

on being a flake

i was reading a friend's blog post. she was apologizing for being inconsistent in her posts. she referred to herself as a flake.

i used to refer to myself as a flake. every time i made a mistake, instead of getting down on myself, i would say, "i'm just a flake," and try to move on. when i used the word "flake," i thought of two different things.

the first was snowflakes. snowflakes are unique, fragile, and most important, beautiful. that's not really what i meant when i called myself a flake. it was more of a way to be ok with myself in the middle of my mistakes.

the other thing i thought of was the word flaky. now flakiness might not be something humans want to exhibit, but in pie crusts, the flakier the pie crust, the better. i even used to say that i got to the be the flaky pie crust, and Jesus was the delicious filling.

in calling myself a flake, though, i'm really saying that i should have done better. it was actually a form of condemnation and i was always disappointed with myself. the truth is, that without Christ living his life in me, i will always fall short. in my flesh, i act like a flake, but that's not who i really am.

instead of calling myself a flake, i want to remember a few things about God and me.

i am God's workmanship, his poem, his masterpiece.

on my worst day, God is crazy about me. it doesn't matter what i do. he will never stop loving me. i want to live loved, knowing that i can't do anything to make him love me less, or anything to make him love me more.

God never condemns me. i will never disappoint him because all he wants from me is my love and trust.

Jesus didn't come to improve my behavior. He came to set me free from the law of sin and death so i could have relationship with him.

so now i can say, "my name is Michelle Gregory, and i am not a flake." but i am unique and beautiful.


Donetta said...

Amen to that Sis!!!!!!!!!!!

Sing it from the tree tops. Dance.

Nedra said...

My goodness, Michelle. I've tended to call myself a flake, too, when I referred to the precious... creativity ...yeah, creativity, not absentmindedness and not flakiness, that it takes to come up with ideas when I'm making crafts or writing.

I'm going to be sure to stop referring to myself that way. Surely, on a subconscious level, my downplaying stuff has affected my ability to give my all to my work. I've probably even blocked some creative ideas because of my own thoughts & words. Hmm..

Thank you again. God bless you!

In This My Life said...

Great reminder of God's love. This was uplifting to read this morning. Thanks. Abby