June 21, 2011

on weariness, death, and not writing

as i read through blog post blurbs on google reader, i came across one that talked about how writing a first draft sucks. here was my reply:

i love first drafts. 2nd drafts are the ones that suck for me. but i'm finding that not writing sucks even more. haven't had a chance or the creative where-with-all to get to anything that even resembles a story.

having not written in months, i sorely miss the creative process and hope that in the next month or two i can get back to it. the weariness of all we've had to do to get our house ready to sell is getting old. on top of that, my mother in law passed away yesterday (expected but still hard) and we have 2 memorial services to attend this week, both of them two hours away. writing is one way i know to combat the weariness. not writing feels like another kind of death to me.

i know that sounds overly dramatic, but for some of us, writing is like breathing.

yes, there are things that are much worse. yes, other people go through things like this all the time and endure. yes, i know i can rely on God for what i need, but i forget.

prayers and positive thoughts would be appreciated.

9 comments:

KarenG said...

So sorry to hear about your mother in law passing. And on top of the moving process, it sounds like you have too much on your plate. Can you keep a notebook with you and when you have a moment or two write down your notes and impressions as you go? It's not writing the 1st draft but it may alleviate the triple loss you are feeling by not writing at all.

Michelle Gregory said...

Karen, thanks. wish i could remove some things from my plate. it helps that the harder part of moving (getting the house ready) is over and now it's just little things. when i sit, my mind goes blank. i can hardly think of one creative thing. i'll see what i can do about the notebook. thanks for the suggestion.

Bryce Daniels said...

Sorry about what you are going through, and sending positive vibes your way.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I went through a very long dry spell, so I know how you feel. It will happen again.

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I'm sorry for your loss. Expected doesn't make it easy. Prayers for you to get through this week, and then the one after and the one after...

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I'm sorry Michelle! Expected doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

Melissa Ann Goodwin said...

I'm sorry for all you have going on. I try to believe that when life events slow us down its because we are supposed to slow down. I said I TRY to believe it, but it's never easy. I wish you healing and rest, try to give yourself a break and let it be okay.Hugs

Donna Hole said...

Always thinking of you, even when not stopping by. I hope things settle down for you soon.

......dhole

Jemi Fraser said...

So sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. Even when it's expected, it's so hard. I hope you find some time to sit and remember and treasure those memories. Take care *hugs*