April 4, 2011
i know my blog header says, this is "a place where this indie author can write, rant, and encourage," but if you've come here much, you know i hardly ever rant. and it's not that i really want to rant now, especially when i'm worried about offending some of my dear blogging friends with what i might say. but taking up some courage (thank you, Bru), i'm going to say what i think and let it be what it is.
it's only April 4th, and i'm ready to take a break from the party. if you're doing A-Z, you know what i'm talking about and if you're not, part of me wants to say, "good for you for not attending the party." not that attending the party is a bad thing. there were so many good reasons to go, but the one that enticed me to go was the chance to meet new bloggers and make new connections.
i still want to do that, and i know i said in a previous post that if i don't attend the party, i'll never meet anyone, but just like this introvert has trouble at large gatherings because they can be so overwhelming, i'm feeling overwhelmed by A-Z. there are so many blogs on the list and i know they have good reasons to be there, and i'm not criticizing either the hosts or the attendees. (the fact that they can manage it at all is astounding. i applaud them for trying to bring together bloggers who might never have met otherwise.)
i never intended to visit every blog on the list (i'd be here till summer if i did that), but even trying to pick out a few to visit in a day is getting to be too much. i'm starting to feel like i *should* visit so i can support other blogging writers--especially those who have few followers. (i wrote a post once on shoulds and on being true to myself. you can read it here if you want.)
the other problem is that i'm watching my follower widget and it never really mattered to me before. i don't want it to matter now. i'm checking my email for comments even more than i used to. not good. i'm wasting more time on the internet than usual. not good either.
so i realized today, i can give myself permission to sit on the edges of the party and watch while i sip my lemonade. or go to the library of the host and peruse the books. or step outside and get a breath of fresh air because the room is a little too stuffy. or go back to working on my sequel. yeah. that sequel i need to finish.
thankfully, i did all my posts ahead of time, so i won't stop them, and they were easy posts (collecting quotes is fun for me). but i have to stop going to the list and trying to make it to so many blogs because i might possibly meet someone who could encourage me or be part of my writing journey or life journey. just as i did before this, i have to trust that i'll find the people i need to find and they'll find me. if they visit and leave a comment, i'll visit back. if they follow me and i think i have good reason to follow them, i will.
for now, though, this girl's sitting it out. it could last a day or a week, or the rest of the month. i don't know. but while i sit out on the quiet patio, you're welcome to join me.