March 17, 2010

WIP Wednesday?

i don't usually post for WIP Wednesday, but something i saw at Christine's Writer's Hole has me playing along today. Christine is asking visitors to post "...a SHORT excerpt of which you are particularly proud in the comments section. Try to pick something that is illuminating about your characters, your setting, or your plot and will hook us into wanting to read more."

this is still a little rough punctuation-wise, but here we go. it's an early scene from the 2nd draft of Blackheart.

Arathor put down the axe and looked at his hands. Blisters were just beginning to form.

‘Jedzah mar kava,’ he said.

The blisters didn’t heal.

He said the words again.

The skin didn’t change.

He flexed his hands at the growing discomfort, then noticed a sudden ache in his knuckles. If he hadn’t known better, he would think he was showing the first signs of his age. That wasn’t supposed to happen.

‘Jedzah mar kava,’ he said with more force.

The ache persisted. It didn’t make sense. Descendants of Alardin were always able to heal themselves and Arathor hadn’t been able to heal any wounds in the last few days. Was this related to the warning in his nightmares?

You will lose everything.

A dark figure had pronounced the curse in a rasping voice. Arathor had tried to thrust his sword into the warrior’s chest, but his arm seemed bound to his side. The figure moved closer and reached for Arathor’s neck. All Arathor could do was wait for the hand to cut off his air supply.

Just as the fingers started to squeeze, Arathor had woken up.

The panic he’d felt just after the nightmare returned. Like a constricting snake, it wrapped itself around his mind, squeezing until he couldn’t think. It moved into his chest until it was almost impossible to breathe.

Get yourself under control.

He went back to chopping wood. Hard work and exhaustion always drove away his anxiety. The longer he chopped, the greater his anxiety grew. His mind wouldn’t leave the problem alone. Why was he having these dreams?

Play along and post something here or over at Christine's blog. i'd love to read what you're writing.


Nicole Ducleroir said...

This excerpt is fantastic! I was immediately drawn into your world. There was tension from the first line, and I was left wanting more.

I'm a new follower! Looking forward to reading more from you:)

Sara Harricharan @ Fiction Fusion said...

Oooh, love it! I really like getting to know Arathor more, even though this is such a short piece. Wonderful excerpt! Now I want to do this lol...ack...maybe if I have the time. ^_^ Keep on writing--I have got to read this sequel SOON!

Christine H said...

Thanks for the link to my blog. :o)

Christine H said...

As I said on my blog, I love the way you weave the internal conflict through this scene. I remember when you were having trouble getting to know Arathor. I think you've succeeded really well.

Michelle Gregory said...

Nicole- glad to leave you wanting more and i'm always glad to have another blogging friend.

Sara - i have to read the sequel soon, too. oh, wait. first i have to finish it.

Christine - you're welcome and i feel like i know Arathor better too. he's a tough one. maybe having that picture of Adrian Paul has helped. ;)