to clarify, this is what i was thinking in 2005 before i started nanowrimo. i won't be participating this year.
Oct. 4, 2005
i feel this pull to do the nanowrimo thing and then i feel stupid about the whole thing. i'm crazy. i can't do this. i won't get it done and my story is worthless. i read Lloyd Alexander and think i couldn't write that book that way. but then he didn't write that book that way at first. i'm sure it was a crappy first draft. everyone's is. mine will be no different.
why do i think my first draft will be great? this is practise - practise is always hard and lousy. but i can do this - it's just practise and it doesn't mean anything except to say i did this.